Week 1 College Football: The Glory, the Gore and the Carnage

So… how are we feeling, college football fan?

You still celebrating, USC, Florida State, LSU and Ohio State fan?

Are you still with us, Alabama, Clemson, Texas and U.C.L.A.?

Ahh, week 1. Where delusions of grandeur are born, ugly truths are exposed and Surrender Cobras emerge in less than three hours.

Ain’t Week 1 fun?

The excitement, the trash-talking, the pain, the reality gut punch. The Paul Finebaum Show.

Let’s start with the elephant in the room, shall we?

Alabama fans are shocked. Wait until they discover more losses are coming.

I could tell them that Auburn looks vastly improved, but why kick a dead elephant? I could tell them that their once-upon-a-time, a-long-time-ago-guaranteed-win against Vanderbilt is now a possible two-peat for the ‘Dores. I also could remind them that Wisconsin is still sore at them for that 42-10 beatdown last year.

SEC bonus: Florida, LSU, Mizzou, Oklahoma, Ole Miss and South Carolina are also playing sorta, kinda like world-beaters.

Oh, my.

It was not that long ago when we learned that Alabama had kept its players from hitting the transfer portal in spring. Head coach Kalen DeBoer told—OK… bragged about it—earlier this year. That is a big deal in the fickle and flaky world of NIL.

According to tdalabamamag.com, “Alabama was the only SEC football program to retain its entire roster after the spring.”

Cue the then-excited Tide fans.

Last Wednesday, the Crimson Tide looked unprepared, unfocused and undisciplined against Florida State. Maybe the Tide players dismissed a really pissed-off Seminole team who went 2-10 last year. Here’s a thought; maybe the ‘Noles are better? Florida State 31 Alabama 17.

Cue the now-apoplectic Tide fans.

Alabama has so much talent that one of two things will most likely happen.

1— the talent wakes up and realizes it cannot be a slacker just because former head coach Nick Saban is not there to dish out some criticism, laser death stares and f-bombs.

2—the talent leaves after four games and enters the transfer portal looking for love (hello, Oxford, Mississippi!) in a new place.

The third option, terminating head coach Kalen DeBoer’s contract, will not happen. There are $70 million reasons why a buyout will not be considered at this point in the season.

Yes, Texas A&M paid $77.5 million to give Jimbo Fisher the boot, but it only did so after giving Fisher almost six full seasons as the Aggies head coach. DeBoer has coached only one game in his second season.

If, however, Alabama struggles against Louisiana-Monroe this Saturday, ignore my option 3 analysis. And welcome to Westwood, Coach DeBoer. (more on that later)

Texas has a different problem. Losing 14-7 to Ohio State may not reflect badly to pollsters at the end of the season. It was only a one-score loss, after all. Not everyone watched that game, did they?

OK, maybe [gulp] Heisman voters did.

Quarterback Arch Manning performed as well as a sea lion playing chess. He looked completely overwhelmed, confused and ill-prepared for the enormity of this contest. In other words, he looked like a typical, inexperienced starting quarterback in a big game.

The media and Texas fans created this Manning hype. Preseason Heisman favorite? Number 1 NFL Draft pick?

Based on what?

Two starts last year? Against Louisiana-Monroe, who went 5-7 last season and has not sniffed a bowl game berth since 2012? Against Mississippi State, whose two wins last season came against Eastern Kentucky and UMass?

Leave Manning alone. And blame yourselves for thinking you can prognosticate. It has been forever since the media has gotten anything right in the preseason.

But carry on with the disappointed Longhorn fan memes and the upside-down Longhorn hand signs. Nobody loves schadenfreude more than a college football fan seeing an elite school go down in a blaze of bovine dung.

Speaking of animal excrement, the U.C.L.A Bruins laid another deuce in the Rose Bowl.

Again.

The Bruins offensive line looked as stout as an emu, the defense was more forgiving than a bungee cord and the rushing game was less productive than a sloth on Ambien.

How much more pain will Bruin fans endure? Seriously. Their football program is in shambles.

The Big Ten media picked the Bruins to finish fourth-from-the-bottom in the conference ahead of the Maryland Terrapins, Northwestern Wildcats and Purdue Boilermakers. The only two Big Ten teams to lose their season openers were the Bruins (Utah) and the Wildcats (Tulane).

Hats off to the Big Ten media. They knew.

So far.

This disaster should not fall on head coach DeShaun Foster. When he was hired last season, he had zero coaching experience. Not just head coach experience. Any coaching experience. Zilch. Nada. Jack Squat.

High-salaried coaches do not always translate to a high-yield of wins but they do show a high level of interest and value. Or confidence. With a salary of around $3.25 million, Foster will probably struggle in the Big Ten.

The Bruins could demand that Foster be terminated. But there are currently two things preventing that.

First, there has to be enough fans to demand change.

The Rose Bowl had an announced attendance of 35,302 on Saturday, but scanned attendance was 27, 785. U.C.L.A. counts, according the Sports Business Journal, “non-ticketed and credentialed individuals such as players, coaches, staff, vendors, cheerleaders, band members, performers and even media.”

Gah.

Second, there should be a coach-in-waiting if termination is in the cards. Los Angeles has been a tough sell. A family of four’s $121,000 yearly salary is considered poverty level. The median home price is $1.1 million. It is very expensive to live in the Golden (cough) State.

Unless U.C.L.A. presents itself as a serious contender (in other words, paying a head coach over $7 million a year) in its potential coaching search, it will either hire retreads, has-beens or inexperienced coaches. Because that is what $3 million a year gets you in a Power 5 conference.

Chris Petersen, Urban Meyer or Jimbo Fisher ain’t walking through their front door. Perhaps DeBoer will get a nice invite and hostess gift?

So much for the gore. Now for some glory.

Vanderbilt is my sleeper in the SEC. Why? For one, it is finally behaving like an SEC team. It smoked Charleston-Southern 45-3 in its home opener and quarterback Diego Pavia’s brothers got into some trouble with the po-po after the game.

S-E-C! S-E-C!

USC, Florida and Missouri were impressive in their openers. USC beat Missouri State 73-14, Florida beat Long Island University 55-0 and Missouri beat Central Arkansas 61-6.

OK, I know… I know.

They all were playing cupcakes. But if you’re going to schedule a cupcake then beat the frosting off it. Do what is expected of you—complete dominance in an every-player-gets-to-play victory.

Barely beating a cupcake is almost as bad as losing. You scheduled a lower-tiered team and paid them bunches of dough to get their asses handed to them on a platter. Either serve it up or shut up. Do not be an Indiana (won 27-14 v Old Dominion) or Wake Forest (won 10-9 v Kennesaw State).

Be a T.C.U.

Ruining Bill Belichick’s college football home opener and coaching debut by wining 48-14 is almost as good as devouring a cupcake in one bite. No, wait. It is better.

This is the first time I’ve seen Belichick confused and Horned Frogs coach Sonny Dykes smirk at the same time. At times, Belichick appeared to be distracted.

One wonders… by what?

With Notre Dame and U.C.L.A. both losing, USC had its first Perfect Day of the season. It happened technically over a weekend, but the sentiment still applies.

It was a damn Perfect Day (ish).

LSU is suddenly in the position to trash-talk Alabama. November 8 will not be the Game of the Century. But it will be the day more alcohol is consumed than any other day this year.

There will be some upsets or underdog spread covers in week 2. Here are my games to watch:

Mizzou v Kansas +6.5 (This is my last cup of Kool-aid. Swear!)

Vanderbilt +2 at Va Tech (side bet: Pavia strikes the pose)

Mississippi State +6.5 v Arizona State (umm, there is no “dry heat” in Starkvegas)

Duke +3 v Illinois (the most Duke-thing ever is upsetting a ranked Illini team)

Miami (OH) +15 at Rutgers (a MAC team gave Rutgers a hard time last week so…)

U.C.L.A. at UNLV +2.5 (if the Bruins’ D stays home, the Bruins may have a shot here)

Baylor +2.5 at SMU (Bears are better than the experts think. Also, Big XII chaos in Week 2 is par for the course, isn’t it?)

UConn +6.5 at Syracuse (I’m all in on head coach Jim Mora)

Let’s continue the carnage going into Week 3.

Florida v LSU: While Gator Coach Billy Napier Is Winning Fans Over, Has Tiger Coach Brian Kelly Lost His Team?

GAINESVILLE, Fl.—The sidelines can tell the story of a game.

So can the fans.

At The Swamp on Saturday, in front of 90,000+ rabid fans, Florida Gator head coach Billy Napier orchestrated story time to absolute perfection.

By the time the game had ended, close to 85,000 Florida fans went to bed victorious, sated, smug and content. They were actually looking forward to their next opponent, Ole Miss.

Bless their hearts.

Defensive coordinator Austin Armstrong photo credit: Brian Estes

The final score was Florida 26, LSU 17. The game was not that close despite the statistics pointing to an LSU victory.

The Tigers’ time of possession was 41:43 versus the Gators’ 18:17. LSU had 392 total yards versus Florida’s 339. LSU had 25 first downs, Florida 13. LSU converted 13 of 24 3rd downs while Florida converted 3 of 9. The Tigers only converted a little over 50 percent of their 3rd downs?

What happened?

The Florida fans happened.

photo credit: Brian Estes

It was all about those vociferous, swamp puppy-loving fans. Their excitement and support for the Gators carried down to the field like a tidal wave. How rowdy was it? When LSU’s offense faced third down 24 different times, the press box shook.

Every. Single. Time.

“We have to give the crowd a ton of credit,” Napier said after the game.

“That place was electric tonight and played a major factor in the game. Obviously the kids feed off of it. And 11 straight sell-outs, and something about when the sun goes down, it’s pretty special in there. Very thankful for our fans. And to continue to show up, right, and do their part. Obviously we’ve struggled at times, but I’m just very thankful for the overall support and the way they impacted the game tonight.”

Last season, Napier was heavily flirting with the coaches’ hot seat. Fans, pundits, the so-called experts and local sportswriters were openly calling for a change in leadership after two sub-500 seasons. An overall record of 11-14 in the SEC is, well… cause for termination.

But Napier was recently given a vote of confidence by athletic director Scott Stricklin—a decision I applauded, for what it’s worth—and that likely buoyed the team’s enthusiasm and confidence as well.

Billy Napier photo credit: Brian Estes

“[It] means a lot,” quarterback DJ Lagway said after learning that Napier would return next season.

“Being the second year in offense is huge. Just having the guys rally behind that and truly like we’re going to change this. And that’s the whole vibe in the locker room, that we’re going to change this place and we’re going to make it what it used to be. I feel like on a recruiting standpoint, I felt it was huge as well. I had a lot of guys hit me up after they’ve seen that, texting me, trying to see what’s going on. But yeah, it’s great.”

Heck, Lagway now has his own fan club in the stands. How great is ball?

photo credit: Brian Estes

Napier can be rather stoic on the sidelines. But he seems in control at all times— almost a calming influence on the sidelines—when emotions run high. He interacts well with his players and appears to be a father-figure to many of them. When there is a bond between a coach and player, the transfer portal is in another universe.

And that’s important when you have a true freshman phenom quarterback who feels pretty comfortable in orange and blue.

DJ Lagway photo credit: Brian Estes

“When the big plays arrive, I’ve got to make the play,” Lagway said post game.

“That’s what Coach Napier recruited me for. Blessed to have the opportunity to make the play.”

“My confidence level in this offense has jumped up tremendously,” he added.

“Having Coach Napier and Coach O’Hara and Graham Mertz helping me in different situations, and I feel like that’s one part of my game that I want to develop and continue to get better, being a situational expert, as Coach Napier would say. That’s something I continue to work on daily.”

Tyreak Sapp (L), nephew of Warren Sapp and former teammate Jalen Lee (R) photo credit: Brian Estes

If other schools plan on enticing Lagway away from Florida, do not bother. He is staying put. He is committed. And honored.

This week, three, count ’em three Gators were named SEC Players of the Week.

Lagway was named SEC Freshman of the Week. Linebacker Shemar James was tabbed SEC Defensive Player of the Week and Kicker Trey Smack—who kicked a 55-yard field goal that soared an extra 10 yards past the goal posts— was dubbed SEC Special Teams Player of the Week.

The fans should have been honored as well. The kinetic energy the crowd was feeding to the players was just incredible.

And vice-versa.

photo credit: Brian Estes

The momentum of this team’s late-season surge feels eerily similar to former head coach Pete Carroll’s first season at USC in 2001.

The Trojans went 6-6 that year. Carroll’s hiring had raised a few eyebrows. The Trojans had opened that season with four consecutive losses. They won four of their final five games. There was hope. Something was brewing in Los Angeles.

The following season No. 5 USC went 11-2 and knocked No. 3 Iowa senseless in an Orange Bowl victory, winning 38-17. It was the beginning of the Pete Carroll era at USC.

photo credit: Brian Estes

And now, in Gainesville, the Legend of Billy Napier has officially begun.

This head coach, who makes about $7.4 million a year, wears a Timex watch. That’s right. A TIMEX.

Napier is not just the Gators’ coach. Napier is The People’s Coach. Cue the Kum-bay-ya chants.

photo credit: Brian Estes

LSU, on the other hand, is in disarray. The Tigers were a preseason CFP hopeful, remember? After dropping an unfathomable three consecutive games, a date with Vanderbilt this weekend all of a sudden seems a little… daunting?

photo credit: Brian Estes

The problem with LSU is not with its roster. It is with its head coach.

It looks like Brian Kelly has lost his team.

The sidelines cannot obscure emotions and passions. The sideline is where the pulse of a team lies. And unless things change drastically, that pulse is in danger of flatlining.

photo credit: Brian Estes

Kelly was upset over a lot of things on Saturday. He barked at officials, which is not unusual for any coach. He barked at his receivers—not a good idea unless there was a teachable moment in there.

Kelly continually chastised his quarterback, Garrett Nussmeier. Not cool, Kelly.

Not cool at all.

photo credit: Brian Estes

LSU’s defense had allowed only six sacks leading up to this game. That is pretty impressive.

In this game’s first half, the Tigers allowed one sack. In the second half, they allowed six. That is seven poundings Nussmeier took. We won’t even count the hurry-ups, scrambling out of the pocket or knock-downs he endured.

Garrett Nussmeier photo credit: Brian Estes

Nussmeier had his face in the ground more often than an armadillo looking for grub on a warm, summer night. At times, he had only a second or two to get his passes off.

And Kelly thought Nussmeier was the problem?

Nope.

Try the O-line. Or maybe his receivers for not getting open in pretty loose zone coverages. Or, the offensive coordinator for not making adjustments to counter the Gators’ relentless pass rushing attack.

Brian Kelly photo credit: Brian Estes

Midway through the 4th quarter, Nussmeier trotted to to the sidelines to recover from a particularly hard sack. He appeared to veer left to avoid Kelly but the coach followed him over to the bench area and yelled at him anyway.

Nussmeier looked like he wanted to hit something hard. His O-line? His coach? The transfer portal?

Throughout the game, Kelly isolated himself from others. On an island, of sorts. And his staff smartly stayed clear.

Occasionally Kelly would slap some fives to his defense or special teams for making a great play. But overall, Kelly’s demeanor was sour, angry and frankly, unprofessional.

Brian Kelly photo credit: Brian Estes

Kelly is a smart man. Perhaps he senses that he has lost his team.

Vanderbilt may be the litmus test.

In the mean time, Napier is feeling the love from Gator Nation. The Swamp will be rockin’ on Saturday when Florida faces the one-touchdown favorite Mississippi Rebels.

The culture of winning has been planted and is in full bloom. The players, fans and coaches are believers.

The Gators face their student section photo credit: Brian Estes

Just wait ’til next season.

Strike the Heisman pose, DJ. If everyone can stay healthy, an SEC Championship game awaits.

The bitch is back.

(You may quote me)

Florida v Georgia: Did DJ Lagway’s Injury Derail the Lane Train?

JACKSONVILLE, Fl.—Never underestimate the emotions of a tormented football fan. Especially in the SEC.

On Saturday, Florida entered its rivalry game against Georgia for the 102nd time. This time, the Gators were 16-point underdogs to the Bulldogs. All signs pointed to a beatdown by Georgia and a renewed interest in testing the combustibility of Gator head coach Billy Napier’s skivvies.

Would Napier get canned if Florida lost? Would Napier get canned if the Gators made the loss respectable? Would Napier get canned even if the Gators won?

Billy Napier credit: Brian Estes Photos

OK, to spare any more suspense… would, no wait….will… Napier get 86’d?

So far, Napier is safe. In just his third season at Florida, he has not had the opportunity to coach a team with all of his recruits. The injury bug has also hit the team hard this season.

Those extenuating circumstances could be enough to keep his job for another year.

A contingent of Florida’s fan base is not thrilled about that. These fans are impatient. These fans want change. These fans do not like the direction in which the team is heading.

What ever happened to the retention standard of “four years in” before talking about coaching changes?

How much a current coach’s buyout clause is worth (Napier’s is $25.67 million if he is terminated after the 2024 season) compiled with the quality of coaches available to hire are the usual deciding factors in terminating a coach’s contract.

But there may be a another reason why some schools are not waiting four or five years to make a coaching change.

The Gators are in serious danger of not getting bowl eligible with six wins. A road trip at No. 5 Texas [gulp] plus two home games against No. 14 LSU and No. 16 Ole Miss [gulp] await. Realistically, the Gators’ hope of a bowl bid lies on their date with a 1-8 pissed off Florida State on November 30.

A loss to the Seminoles changes everything.

Missing postseason play hurts a team’s recruiting. And its booster donations.

Some donors may refrain from digging into their fat wallets when a team is bass fishing instead of playing in New Year’s Six bowl. That could impact future NIL collectives’ reserves, aka money to lure potential recruits.

“Donor-driven NIL collectives will make up 80% of all NIL dollars spent in college football this season,” according to On3.com’s report.

Two Florida schools have the Top 15 NIL collectives. The University of Florida is not one of those schools. Tennessee, Ole Miss, Alabama, Missouri, Texas A&M, Alabama and Arkansas are among the Top 15.

Money talks. Mediocrity walks.

The word on the mean streets of Gainesville is that Ole Miss head coach Lane Kiffin is coveted by many green, scaly-skinned fans.

The Kiffin supporters, aka Kiff-ettes, want to book the Lane Train and ride off into the sunset with him and his mastery of trolling, deep balls and trick plays. Of course, that would leave another Kiffin-coached team scorned.

Hell hath no fury, eh Ole Miss? Tennessee? USC?

Anyway, all Florida had to do was lose (big) to Georgia to get the Lane Train rolling down the tracks. This seemed like an easy task at hand. Again, the Gators were 16-point underdogs. Cue the train conductor.

Piece. Of. Cake.

But like everything Florida this year, the Gators are an enigma.

Midway through the second quarter, Florida was up 10-3. The Lane Train talk had subsided.

DJ Lagway credit: Brian Estes Photos

Then true freshman sensation quarterback DJ Lagway was carted off the field after a “significant” hamstring injury, according to Napier. The oxygen got sucked out of the stadium—well, at least half of it—faster than a hot dog getting shot out of a cannon.

DJ Lagway credit: Brian Estes Photos

But wait. The Gators scored a touchdown and extended their lead 13-6.

Maybe…?

credit: Brian Estes Photos

Nah.

Florida could not get its offense rolling under third-string redshirt freshman Aidan Warner.

The playcalling was more than safe for the Yale transfer. It was bubble wrapped—a lot of hand-offs, an occasional deep throw and some short, play actions that got blown up by Georgia’s defenders.

Midway through the fourth quarter, Florida, down 20-13, willed itself down the field and into the red zone after a hands-to-the-face penalty by Georgia linebacker Damon Wilson II. A subsequent holding call by Florida negated that gift.

Of course.

And then, a November miracle, albeit temporary, happened. Florida’s Ja’Kobi Jackson waltzed into the endzone, after a whiff by Daniel Harris, and the game was tied up 20-20 with 7:29 left in regulation.

Everything after that touchdown was just awful for Gator fans.

Or was it?

Therein lies the dilemma for every football fan that wants a coaching change. Are you happy for the win, especially in a rivalry game, or are you happy for the loss and a (possible) change of leadership?

The end does not justify the means, does it? It is like an author of a novel winning an award for “how not to write a novel.” Do you really celebrate this?

For Gator fans, going 11-14 in the last two years is cringy. Currently at 4-4, things are not okey-dokey in Gainesville.

They are inky-stinky.

In week six, starting quarterback Graham Mertz had a career-ending knee injury (ACL) after he threw for a touchdown giving the Gators a 10-0 lead over the Tennessee Volunteers. The Gators would lose that game in overtime, 23-17.

Two weeks later, Lagway went out with a hamstring injury when the Gators were up 13-6. The Gators eventually lost on Saturday, 34-20.

credit: Brian Estes Photos

“I mean, [it] never comes down to just one play,” Napier said in his post-game interview.

“We probably played 180 plays out there today and there were multiple opportunities for us to get it done.”

Now on his third starting quarterback, sympathy for Napier abounds as he prepares for the Texas Longhorns. Yet, he is focused on supporting Warner and the team as they limp to Austin.

And what about getting “snakebit” by injuries?

Graham Mertz credit: Brian Estes Photos

“No, I don’t believe in… that,” Napier said.

“Always been injuries in this game. Every team in the country has injuries. One thing I can say is we built a roster that has some competitive depth and that’s proved to be beneficial.

You play in this league, the level of competition, the explosive players, height, length, and speed of the game, physicality of this game, you’re always going to need depth.”

A coach that does not repine on injuries?

That is refreshing as hell.

A coach who does not embrace moral victories?

Hip hip, hooray!

A coach that does not believe any one play costs a team a game?

Priceless.

The calls for “all aboard” the Lane Train have quieted.

For now.

Lagway’s injury may have been the final nail in Florida’s coffin. But it may also have given the under-construction “Legend of Napier” new meaning.

And life.

UPDATE: Lagway’s injury does not appear to be as serious as once thought. At a press conference Monday, Napier made these comments:

“The good news is we’ve had positive information on that front. That is the positive there. We do think that injury is less significant. We do think there’s a pathway for recovery and a return. We did find that out yesterday evening. So a lot of good on that front.

So less significant than we anticipated, and he’s been doing well so far this morning. We have not completely ruled him out, and I think a lot of that will be to be determined as we move our way throughout the week. So that’s a good thing for all involved and certainly for DJ.”

Florida v Kentucky Football: A Cali Girl Goes to Her First SEC Regular Season Game

Gainesville, FL—As Sandra Bullock’s character Leigh Anne Tuohy said in The Blind Side, “well, alrighty then.”

This is different. In a good way.

Like when you eat a nice steak with truffle butter melting on it. Sure, grilled filet mignon is wonderful as is. But with truffle butter? Hoo boy!

It is just so extra. Kinda like SEC football.

It is just different.

OK, I get it now, SEC fans. You guys win. On Saturday night, I lost my Southern football virginity at the Florida v Kentucky game. Because y’all know how to football better than all y’all.

Period.

More. Please.

Ninety minutes before kickoff, the stadium is 25 percent full. And its occupants are turnt. I bring this up only because I am used to sober, empty West Coast stadiums (which shall remain anonymous) five minutes before kickoff.

I want to do the chomp chomp when I take my seat. But first, I let all the Southern gentlemen open the doors for me in the Media Lounge.

Somebody pinch me. This flirting is getting out of hand and the game has not even started.

So… The Swamp.

It has such a cool reputation.

Tonight it’s a brisk 69 degrees and the wind is blowing at five miles-per-hour, according to the press box information officer. Yeah… no. More like 20 miles-per-hour.

The Swamp is now The Igloo.

Let’s see if I can encapsulate today’s epic football experience.

Nope, not possible. This has to be experienced first-hand. With a beer in the other hand.

The team’s entrance onto the football field is intimidating as hell. The lights turn out, there’s a red glow in the stadium and the theme to “Jaws” is scaring the mittens off of my cold, trembling fingers. The crowd is screaming and looking like Pac-man doing their chomp chomp hand gestures.

The Kentucky Wildcats come out and the boos rain down so loudly I am shook. But the Gators steal their thunder—OK, not really, but I am trying to be nice here—by running onto the field at the same time.

The nerve! [grins broadly]

The players run by some flaming torches. Or, maybe… the team coming out with its hair on fire lit up the torches?

Mass pandemonium ensues in The Igloo. I have no idea what song the band is playing because the decibel level is akin to a Space X launch.

I grin. I pop some aspirin into my mouth to kill the noise-inducing headache.

“How much fun is this,” I ask myself?

I check the USC v Maryland score. Good feeling gone. But I digress.

Florida is 3-3 going into this game. You would think the fans are a bit depressed. (Have you seen the Gators’ next five games scheduled? Somebody needs to check on Al E. Gator by mid-November)

Nope, they are totally into this football game. And they cheer like the Natty is on the line here. Or at least a conference championship.

But no, it is Kentucky. And it does not make a difference.

This felt like a national championship game. Every play was super important and game-deciding. Seriously. Every pre-snap felt like 88,000 pearl necklaces were being clutched and then… snapped.

So during the (numerous) SEC Network commercial breaks did The Igloo quiet down?

No, it did not.

The 1984 Florida football team came out on the field and the place went wild. That Gator team experienced the wrath of the NCAA 40 years ago and the fans have not forgotten. Despite winning the SEC with a perfect conference record, the championship was vacated after a vote by the SEC coaches.

But back to some observations during this game.

The crowd actually screams during opposing PAT attempts. OK, I guess I can understand that it if were a walk-off PAT.

But no.

Just your standard, run-of-the-mill PAT that somehow is a pivotal moment in the game. Like every PAT in the SEC, I was informed by a fan.

Well, alrighty then.

Clearly SEC fan knows the secret sauce to enjoying a game. First, drink alcohol.

Actually, if you only do this you are still on point.

Learn all the team chants and responses. If you cannot remember them, just pretend you’re in church. Southern football is a religion here.

Yell. A lot.

For any reason. At any given moment. Nobody cares.

I finally comprehend fully the concept of home field advantage in the SEC. It has to be worth at least three points. My ears are hurting by the half. Maybe it is worth five points.

Meanwhile….

“Go Gators!” (musical interlude) “Go Gators!” (musical interlude) “Go Gators, come on, Gators… get up and go!”

I cannot get that chant out of my head. I actually started mouthing the chant’s lyrics in the second half. (Shhhh! No cheering in the press box allowed) Whoops.

What has become of me?

A West Coast football girl gets her head turned by Florida football?

Why… yes.

Yes. She. Does.

Florida football is sexy. Florida football is exciting. Florida fans are the best fans. And, ahem, sorry West Coast fans… SEC girls just mean more.

Daisy Duke shorts, tank tops and cowboy boots are tough to beat. Am I right, guys?

For decades I preached how overrated the SEC experience was. I laughed at the SEC’s “It just means more” motto. I excused poor stadium attendance in California due to poor scheduling or “too much to do in SoCal.”

I was wrong. Mea culpa. Forgive me, Gator Nation.

Honestly, if Florida scheduled a midnight game in The Igloo, it would sell out. Meanwhile, the Pac-12 cannot even sell out a 2023 conference championship game in Vegas, baby. (Note—it was technically played in Paradise, Nevada, not Las Vegas and it was several thousand butts-in-seats short of a true sell out. But you get the drift, right?)

Every tradition the Gator program has makes you want to don blue and orange. My favorite? Beside the “Go Gators” chant?

Singing Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down” while shining a cell phone’s flashlight in the darkened Igloo. So, so cool.

I respect all of the fans who stand up, remove their hats and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. America needs more of this.

As the fourth quarter was midway, I was struck by something.

I never once heard, “let’s leave now so we can beat the traffic.” In fact, traffic seems to get these fans lit. The more traffic, the more partying, the more tailgating and the more chomp chomping.

The SEC is just so much fun. Full of tradition. Good eats. Great football fans.

Florida may only be 4-3, but its future looks very bright. Freshman quarterback DJ Lagway is the real deal. He is a generational quarterback with tremendous skill set and athleticism.

He will be on my Heisman contender list next season.

Cali girl wants more SEC football.

Cali girl is falling in love with Gator Nation.

It just means more.

2024 College Football: Seven Scary Freshmen to Keep Your Eyes on in the SEC

It is not even Halloween and already college football fans from certain SEC schools are ostensibly making plans to go bass fishing in late December or early January.

The SEC is scary enough every season but 2024 … hoo boy! There are going to be some spectacular train wrecks every Saturday.

photo courtesy of Back to the Future

Have you seen Florida’s 2024 schedule? [gulp]

Forget chomp chomp. It is time to clutch pearl necklaces.

Usually, the SEC is The Holy Grail of combat zones—apparently Missouri got a hall pass this season—and like to eat its own. But because of transfer portal-loving players and hot seat head coaches, things have gotten even more combative in the SEC.

The Big Ten finally decided to flex its muscle and become a black-and-blue conference and suddenly, the SEC lost some Cowbell.

Fear not, SEC fans. Everything looks just fine. For some schools.

True freshmen are now threatening upperclassmen’s reps with the 1s and 2s in practice. Coaches are doing this because who wants to lose their 5-star player to the transfer portal because of lack of playing time or a fired/transferred coach?

Am I right, Aggie fans?

With college football coming to your city within the next two weeks, we take a look at some incoming freshmen who probably will not be sitting on the sidelines holding clipboards or play-calling signs with Beyonce’s face.

These grown men are my chosen few who should be playing right away in the SEC. Perhaps even starting.

Whether it be in specific down-and-yardage plays, special packages (come on, we all love the jumbo package!) or even just as back-ups at skilled positions, these warriors have the right stuff.

photo courtesy of Robinson family

Ellis Robinson IV, CB, Georgia

The SEC loves to brag about its defenses. Okay, last year… not so great. (Yes, SEC fans, Rutgers had better D than the Tide.) There were a lot of discipline issues with a few *cough* teams.

Georgia, who was ranked No. 9 in total defense last season, has been very proactive in avoiding a secondary fall-off due to attrition. Head coach Kirby Smart’s “go big or go home” attitude was validated with the addition of Robinson.

The top-ranked cornerback of the 2024 class, this freshman was ranked second nationally, overall. In fact, he rated a perfect 100 score on 247Sports.com.

He runs a 4.5 in the 40 and has a 36-inch vertical leap. He’s comfortable in man-to-man coverage (uh-oh, Texas) and has a favorite hobby: making picks. He is a menace in the backfield and we cannot wait to watch him pick-6 a few passers.

photo courtesy of GatorsBreakDown

LJ McCray, DL, Florida

McCray was the No. 2 defensive lineman and No. 10 overall recruit. Will he get playing time? Maybe. It all depends on how scorched head coach Billy “Hot Seat” Napier’s skivvies get during the season.

The biggest question mark with most freshmen linemen is that—unlike most skilled position players—they tend to need at least a year of development. His position coach will probably need to tweak his footwork and correct any technique deficiencies.

But this guy is a beast (6-6, 260 lbs and 79-inch wingspan!) at stuffing the run and an absolute nightmare for any quarterback who chances more than two seconds in the pocket. He has that Junior Seau gift of anticipating the play and leveling the ball carrier. Or passer.

Bonus: can we talk about his name? Prediction: His nickname will be Cray Cray McCray. Pass the popcorn.

photo courtesy of AuburnObserver

Cam Coleman, WR, Auburn

This 5-star receiver decommitted from Texas A&M and made Hugh Freeze’s Christmas a lot more merrier when he signed with Auburn in December. Coleman was rated the top receiver (ESPN) in the country and No. 6 overall prospect.

He does need to bulk up a bit (6-3, 188 lbs) which could help him get more push off the blocks, but his route-running is top-notch. He creates great separation so his yards-after-catch should be eye-popping. He regularly practices with the 1s so his odds of seeing significant action early in the games—not just during garbage time—are good.

Coleman also played basketball so his jumping ability will be a factor on corner fades or Hail Marys. (Are you listening to me, Coach?)

How good is this dude? He had four catches for 92 yards in Auburn’s spring game and was a finalist for Alabama’s Mr. Football Award.

Boom.

photo courtesy of GatorCountry

DJ Lagway, QB, Florida

The rich keep getting richer in Gainesville. Alas, if only they knew how to enhance those investments.

The 6-3, 241 lbs, 5-star prospect Lagway is a prototype athletic quarterback. At 19 years old, he has more maturity than most true freshmen.

Lagway set a “Texas class 6A single-season record for touchdown passes all while leading the program to its best record in over 60 years,” per 247Sports.

Lagway was an early enrollee and was quite impressive in spring camp. He, not projected starter Graham Mertz, was the first quarterback to handle the offense.

“He’s made impressive growth,” Napier told GatorCountry. Napier noted his improvement on reads and ball control as key factors in his growth. Technique such as foot work—a lifesaver while in the pocket— has also been cleaned up.

“DJ has a cannon for an arm because he’ll launch it,” added tight end Arlis Boardingham.

While he is expected to back up Mertz, his escapability and ability to extend plays may remind fans of Tim Tebow. Gator fans may be campaigning for him to start if Florida struggles offensively.

photo courtesy of rivals.com

Jaylen Mbakwe, CB, Alabama

How fast is this cornerback? He ran a 10.46 in the 100-meter dash in high school.

It’s a good thing he’s fast because the Tide’s secondary took a major hit losing Kool-Aid McKistry, Terrion Arnold and Caleb Downs. Mbakwe may be called up early to shore up the defense.

At 5-11, 192 lbs, Mbakwe was ranked 12th nationally and 2nd at his position. While Alabama always has talent waiting in the wings, this season will look and feel different.

The Tide added USC’s Domani Jackson via the transfer portal but can we just pause and reflect on what the Trojans’ D looked like last year?

OK, good feeling gone.

photo courtesy of TDAlabamaMag

Ryan Williams, WR, Alabama

Williams was ranked 3rd at his position, 8th overall nationally.

I could go on and on about how much I am crushin’ on him but I’ll leave you with this little tidbit: Williams had 4,600 all-purpose yards and 65 touchdowns at his high school’s final seasons.

Play. Him. Now.

photo courtesy of Yahoo!

Walker White, QB, Auburn

Time to get excited Tiger fans. The next coming of Cam Newton has arrived on the Plains. White is a big, strong athletic runner at 6-3, 220 lbs. He has a fearless quality about him—running up the middle to him is akin to picking roses in a field of quicksand; he finds the sweet spots and avoids the traps.

White will be working on accuracy and touch consistency when he is in the pocket. In other words, he inner-channels his Brett Favre. But with some serious reps and confidence-building wide-outs, White will make Auburn fans smile again.

His real strength will be throwing on the run or play-actions but do not discount OC Derrick Nix designing blasts or power running plays for him on short-yardage situations. Perhaps he will be brought in for special packages.

Can you say Wildcat?

At Little Rock Christian Academy, White threw for 2, 282 yards, 29 TDs, 8 INTs and rushed for 346 yards and 9 TDs.

Feed him the ball, Coach.

College Football, Alligators and Weather: Perspective from a West Coast Transplant After Six Months in Florida

It was going to happen. Eventually.

Doesn’t everyone end up in Florida to retire? To ease the pedal from the metal? Chill out? Have F-U-N?

After living almost my entire life in Southern California, I moved to Northeast Florida in December. My new nest is in Ponte Vedra— a small beach town located a stone’s throw north of St. Augustine on Florida’s First Coast.

I now realize that this is college football country.

Actually, I have always known that. But moving here validated my suspicions. Okay, not suspicions. I knew this was college football country but hated to admit it.

Happy now?

College football is King in Florida.

And I’m here for it all. Finally.

An observation: more Floridian automobiles than not have either Central Florida, Florida, Florida State, South Florida or Miami license plate frames. Sprinkle in Ohio State, Georgia, South Carolina and (of course) Alabama license plate frames and you have about 60 percent of all cars in this state pledging their allegiances to an institute of higher learning. Or a football factory.

Semantics, I know. [shrugs]

This state loves discussing college football. And not just in the fall.

Floridians are already talking about who has the toughest schedules, the easiest schedules, which coaches are on the hot seat, who will suck this year, who will get screwed this year, should Clemson and Florida State leave the ACC and will Texas and Oklahoma have a rude awakening in the SEC?

Answers: USC and UCLA aka Death Star fodder, UNC and Missouri (want some milk with those cupcakes?), Billy Napier aka Florida Man, Alabama and UCLA (does this really need explaining?), Notre Dame (it is always the correct answer every year, isn’t it Irish fans?), yes… and hell yes.

Yes, I reassure my Floridian brethren, Florida State got screwed.

Nope, the Selection Committee should never choose playoff teams based on assumptions or hypotheticals. Yes, a team’s resume should be the sole basis for playoff consideration. No, subjective analysis should never outweigh objective analysis. No, I do not have a handkerchief on which you can cry.

Yes, I will make sure to tell everyone I know that Florida State got screwed.

Also, no, USC is not University of South Carolina.

I am taking about football again. And I am smiling.

The Georgia v Florida game in Jacksonville is enticing. The game is less than an hour from my home, I can prep my liver in October and (a bonus!) the humidity will be significantly less in November.

Won’t it?

A word about weather here in Florida. Okay, maybe more than a word.

A monologue.

Yes, it is warm. We have not hit the hot months yet (!!!!) so I am… well, acclimating to the “warmth.” Or maybe I am in a permanent state of heat stroke.

What I am trying to say is that it is so hot here you can set your AC at 76 and when you walk into your home… it actually feels like an icebox. Yesterday I turned my AC off because 77 degrees was—wait for it— too cold.

When I park my car in a parking lot, I no longer look for the space closest to the front door. Did I mention I had major knee surgery last August? Oh well to the hell.

I look for a parking space under a tree. A big, shady tree. I prefer bird poo on my roof rather than scorching hot, black leather seats, a flaming steering wheel and fogged up sunglasses. Pro tip: leaving your car on, with the AC running, is acceptable at Publix.

I have learned even more things.

There is a recipe on how to cook lasagna in your mailbox. I will let you know how my broiled lasagna turns out in mid-August. Right now, baking cookies in your car is the trendy thing to do.

hat tip courtesy: Alan Wayne Debban via facebook

The Florida Man Games are real and they are spectacular.

It rains every day at exactly 3:00 in the afternoon. Florida’s cooling thunderstorms run on a schedule that rivals a Swiss clock. Or a German train. It’s almost comforting.

Almost.

I always have a towel in my car. I use it to A- sit on if I cannot find a big, shady tree, dammit, B-dry my car off after going to the car wash every day ($39.99 a month for unlimited car washes at Gate!) to get the love bugs off my grill (more on that later) or C-as a rain hat at 3 pm.

Drivers in Florida think the I-95 sign is the posted speed limit. Using your turn signal is a sign of weakness. Do not drive in the left lane unless you hate the way your car’s rear end looks/want a new car. All Floridian drivers are practicing to be poor NASCAR drivers.

Florida understands its bad drivers. That’s why on every highway at 1,000 feet intervals, there is a lane for U-turns so one can A- reverse your lousy sense of direction, B- make your GPS go HAM, or C- gas up/eat lunch/go Christmas shopping at Buc-ees.

Parking on the interstate’s grassy median to chat on your phone, taking pictures of a meandering gator, running from a meandering gator or having a fried chicken picnic is perfectly normal here.

You have to put vinegar in your AC unit once a month to keep mold out. You also have to keep the detergent tray and front loading door on your washing machine open so mold does not colonize.

My feet have a farmer’s tan from flip flops. Also, fancy flip flops under a sequined evening gown are acceptable attire in Florida.

Fresh grouper, smoked fish dip and pimento cheese spread are on the menu in every restaurant and they are awesome.

The more north you drive in Florida, the more Southern it gets.

When someone leaves your home, you do not say, “have a great day.” You say, “Quick! Close the door so you don’t let the bugs in.”

So far, I have had no problems with bugs in my house.

So far.

Bugs on my car are a different thing.

photo courtesy of Herald-Tribune

Bugs have their own seasons in Florida. Because bugs own Florida. They are not too prevalent where I am but they are downright a nuisance in South Florida.

Florida has four distinct seasons: Nice, Love Bugs, Hurricanes and No-see-ums.

Nice: November to March (this season can also be referred to as Snow Bird season)

Love Bugs: April to May (with an encore in September)

No-see-ums: June to early-August

Hurricanes: late-August to October

Love Bugs stick to the front of a car’s grill and bumper. They must be removed within a day or two or the acid from their tiny corpses will melt the paint off a car. Update: the front of my black Benz looks like a Dalmatian.

No-see-ums are a bug that nobody can see. I have swatted at the air for no apparent reason and nobody questions why. They get it. No-see-ums are annoying, sure. But you usually do not feel their presence until after they have dined on your sweaty bicep.

Welcome to Florida.

Land of strange animals. Like Florida man and alligators.

Actually, I am more scared of Florida man than alligators. Truth be told, I have become fond of swamp puppies. They are cute. They are survivors.

Gators do not bother us unless we go into their domain (water) while they are hungry. Gators are, in general, scared of people. Especially on land. I have witnessed their cowardice with my own eyes.

Last spring a gator was roaming on my street, looking for love in all the wrong places. It was mating season, after all. He strolled up to a lady’s house and when she opened her door, well, can you say, “land shark”?

She called a trapper and chaos ensued.

The poor thing (the gator, not the lady) was running around our street, scared to death, his wanna-be big tail whipping back and forth as he scrambled toward a retention pond, heading for safety. Or maybe it was a flirty, love-sick female gator.

I was really rooting for him.

The trapper caught him and “relocated” him. All five feet, one inches of him. Pink mouth and all. He was absolutely adorable.

Do I like Florida?

No.

I love Florida.

After enduring so much heartbreak in the last three years, I have finally found joy again. I wake up every day smiling. Sure, I still cry every day. I miss my husband. David’s death altered my life’s projection.

Before he died, he gave me a new laptop and a fancy broadcasting microphone.

He was trying to tell me something. He was nudging me toward what he knew always gave me joy.

Florida has given me my life back. I have forged some incredible friendships. I have built a new home. I am exploring new places and still thirsting for knowledge.

Florida has awakened my love for college football again.

I am alligator. Hear me bellow. Watch me survive.

I am back, baby.

USC Football’s 2024 Schedule is a Doozy, but Doable

The Big Ten just released its conference schedules and hoo-boy, the USC Trojans have their work cut out for them.

Before we dive in—err, sink into—the proverbial three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust match-ups, let’s tiptoe into USC’s non-conference schedule, keeping in mind the Trojans close their season with Notre Dame.

Hold your breath. Tread lightly. Don’t faint.

The Trojans open up their season with a trip to Las Vegas (hooray!) to play the LSU Tigers (good feeling gone).

Remember the days when USC played Auburn and Arkansas and taught those SEC kids a lesson? Well, that was a few decades ago.

You would have thought the Trojans’ two-date disaster with Alabama would have scarred their brains enough to where scheduling any SEC team (except Vanderbilt, of course) was an act of a madman.

Alas, no.

Alabama beat USC 52-6 in 2016 and although their second date in 2020 was scrapped due to the Pac-12’s Covid-19 paranoia, let’s give Alabama the win anyway. Before I hear any discourse, remember… Clay Helton was the Trojans’ head coach at the time.

Opening with LSU in a “neutral venue” is an interesting move. Name me a game where an SEC team played in a neutral venue and didn’t have home field advantage.

The SEC always has an advantage when it comes to neutral venues. They travel better. They drink more—okay, to be fair, the Washington State Cougars are allowed to ask the SEC fans, “hold my beer.” They scream louder. They win more.

But let’s get back to psychoanalyzing USC…

How USC finishes this season directly affects USC fans’ appetites for a potential butt-kicking by another SEC team next season. If USC beats Washington, Oregon and UCLA this season, then traveling to Vegas to play LSU looks like a fun thing to do.

Up until kickoff.

You get my drift.

USC follows up that bruising home opener with Utah State. The Aggies are no slouch. They are the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers of the Mountain West. Always an upset threat. In 2021 they upset Washington State ( a 19-point favorite) and Air Force (a 9-point favorite).

USC gets a bye week before—wait for it—its conference opener AT MICHIGAN on September 21.

At the Big House.

With Jim “What’s your deal?” Harbaugh coaching (?) in his khakis from the sidelines.

Hopefully, USC has been keeping an eye out for a strange man wearing sunglasses who records games from the Coliseum stands, am I right Trojan fans?

I know. So many questions.

In any case, this autumn game is sure to be a College Gameday venue. If USC can beat Michigan, it can go home and celebrate by playing Wisconsin on September 28.

Welcome to the Big Ten, boys.

It snowed in Madison on Thursday, according to my new-to-the-Midwest-life daughter, so getting the Badgers at home is a huge relief. The following week the Trojans play the Golden Gophers. Playing at Minnesota in early October means chilly weather, but not ice storms. That is another bonus.

So far, no weather issues for our fair weather Southern Californians.

The Trojans get Penn State at home on October 12. They then travel to Maryland the following week. An afternoon high in the low-70s is not uncommon in mid-October in College Park.

So far, so good.

USC hosts Rutgers on October 26. This game—barring any changes to the current level of play the Scarlet Knights are exhibiting—should be a bit of a welcome relief.

A road trip to Washington opens up November play. Again, Seattle in November should be cold, possibly wet, but nothing the Trojans cannot handle. Unless SC’s running game goes south, of course.

USC has a bye week and then closes out its season hosting Nebraska on November 16, playing at UCLA the 23rd and hosting Notre Dame on the 30th, two days after Thanksgiving.

Overall, USC should be thanking the scheduling gods for—weather wise—a fantastic first foray into the black-and-blue division of Power 5 football.

But there is something else to think about. USC will have to eventually play some of these cold-weather teams in November.

Madison, Wisconsin is a beautiful city. In November, the average lows are sub-freezing.

Last November, Lincoln, Nebraska spanked out two days where the lows were single digits.

Dress accordingly, fans. Try to blend in with the Midwesterners. If USC fans think their UGG boots and Abercrombie and Fitch lightweight puffer jackets will keep them warm, well, get ready for Instagram fame.

Weather delays, flight delays, 9 a.m. PT games, snow days, icy roads and yes, Dorothy… tornadoes are all in play right now.

Cheese curds, hand pies, hot dish, buckeyes, puppy chow, toasted raviolis and sugar cream pie are also in the Cardinal and Gold’s future.

And we are all for it. This is what USC needed.

For Trojan fans and their football team, a new beginning is something to behold. A fresh start. A solid future. And a championship schedule to boot.

No more Pac-12 B.S.

No more Pac-12 refs.

Halleluiah.

Amen.

Colorado Buffaloes: Jealous? College Football Nation: Yes

What the #$@* happened last weekend?

Take a man who has had a total of three years head coaching experience at the college football level—in the FCS, mind you—and hire him to guide your football team (1-11 last year) in a Power 5 conference that is self-imploding. Oh, and dare him to somewhat match his offseason bravado and predictions without embarrassing himself.

Mission accomplished.

Colorado 45 TCU 42.

You have to understand what a dumpster fire Colorado football had been. Remember when teams looked to playing the Buffaloes as a bye week? When teams saw Colorado on their schedule and prepared by watching “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”?

Colorado stunk. They were the Pepe Le Pew of the Pac-12.

After an 0-5 start in his second year, head coach Karl Dorrell was fired. How bad were things in Boulder? Dorrell, who is known as a mild-mannered Mr. Nice Guy, once shoved a journalist’s camera as he left the field.

Instead of going with another “safe” hire, the school went all in on Jackson State’s Deion Sanders. Neon Deion. Prime Time. Coach Prime.

Prime* was a legend in the NFL with his high-stepping touchdown antics, mega-watt smile and bandana-wearing mug entertaining fans for 14 years.

He was F-U-N.

Hiring him was a risk. Big boy football experience is generally required for admission to the Power 5 coaching carousel. But Colorado had literally nothing to lose—OK, except maybe a 12th game—and instead of whiffing on a former coordinator or coaching retread, it hit a home run with Prime Time.

Colorado turned college football’s heads. Actually, it was more like a whiplash. If things work out this year—translation: six wins and bowl berth—a new algorithm may be in the works for hiring college football coaches.

Prime is still green but his ability to recruit has never been questioned. Shocking all the traditional football programs and its warlords, Prime landed the No. 1 overall prospect in the Class of ’22, defensive back Travis Hunter.

Remember that name.

And having nothing to lose.

Because that is what has been missing in college football.

The vibe, culture and aura of college football is on a different level in Boulder, Colorado right now. And that’s not just the smell of weed causing that Rocky Mountain high.

At Alabama, fans are wringing their hands over A- not scoring 60 points on Middle Tennessee State, B- can more than one SEC school get into the College Football Playoffs?, C- does the country have Alabama fatigue?, D- if we lose one game shouldn’t we get into the CFP because of strength of schedule? or E- did LSU’s loss to Florida State mess up our SOS and… our season?

Waiting eight months for the season to start and then perform this mental exorcism is not fun. This is not a rip on Tide fans. But this is what happens to traditional fanbases who expect to win every year and do not take seriously fundamental changes in a sport.

Some are probably laughing at Colorado, challenging them to play their conference schedule “week in and week out” and to learn to respect their foes. There is a process a school must follow to join the elites.

Colorado is not playing by the rules.

It is so unfair, right?

Alabama has had to endure sanctions, a decade of rebuilding, questionable coaching hires and black-and-blue conference play to earn respect. Colorado lost a bunch of games and hired an enigma instead.

Alabama has had to play Games of the Century to garner respect. Colorado only had to beat TCU, the team that got walloped by defending National Champion Georgia, in week 1.

One student section is seething green while the other, well… is smoking it.

Not just because they beat last season’s No. 2 TCU on the road. Not just because Colorado won with a team that has only been playing together for a few months. Not just because no one believed in them.

No.

They are celebrating because they have forged a new path to success. And because Colorado made college football fun again.

Not one other program in the Power 5 conferences can say that.

Not one.

The Buffaloes are playing like their hair is on fire and loving every second of it. They aren’t worried about losing because no one pegged them as winners, including yours truly.

They are playing with 100 percent freedom under their wings and damn it, isn’t that refreshing to watch? Don’t tell me other players aren’t jealous.

They are.

College football has become a business. In all aspects. Heck, even the players are getting paid. And while that is something that needed to happen, the ‘amateur’ optics of college football were at risk.

The zaniness of the plays, the wild, unpredictability of players (can you say #collegekickers without a smile?) and the youthfulness of the sport are important factors that separate college football from the N.F.L.

Prime has returned that ambience to its rightful place on the sidelines.

Prime is making us appreciate the beauty of the game from a different perspective. He is making us watch a group of young men grow in confidence, believe in defying the odds and overcome fears. Playing like they have nothing to lose.

Prime is the ultimate mentor.

Now watch Alabama coach Nick Saban on the sidelines.

Does he look like he is having fun? Do his players?

There is a difference in smiling due to relief of getting the job done and smiling out of sheer joy.

Am I comparing Saban v Prime? Yes, yes I am.

Saban is the G.O.A.T., after all.

After the TCU upset, Prime did not hold back on his emotions. He gushed about how proud he was of his son and quarterback, Shedeur Sanders.

Most coaches tamp back those emotions. Prime cut them loose.

Unlike Saban—and recently, LSU head coach Brian Kelly—Prime did not publicly vocalize on what his team needed to work on, nor what the players did wrong.

He focused on living in the moment. That sweet, unforgettable moment of proving the doubters were wrong.

[cue singing angels]

He is a Christian and nowadays, that does not always translate to acceptance among the media. In fact, the media and Prime have an acrimonious relationship.

Despite his decorated athletic achievements at Florida State University, Prime graduated from Talladega College, an HBCU, in 2020. He considers himself a TC alum. And that has riled up some folks.

“Wow,” former FSU quarterback and sports broadcaster Danny Kannell posted on X.

“The lack of respect for the school that gave him his start is wild. The same school that retired his jersey. The same school that let him be ‘Prime.’ There is a way to handle this question and this ain’t it.” 

Florida State wants to claim Prime as one of their own. He’s having none of that.

Coach Prime also refused to answer a reporter’s question in the TCU post-game presser because the reporter would not admit he was a doubter. Prime told that reporter he had “receipts,” referring to proof of his negative media coverage, and moved on to the next reporter.

You have to admire his convictions.

And his hutzpah. But back to Saban.

Last year, Texas A&M head coach Jimbo Fisher had a kerfuffle with Saban. Saban accused the Aggies of paying their recruits to sign with the school. Fisher called Saban a “narcissist.”

Saban reportedly also went after Prime, implying Jackson State paid $1 million for Hunter to sign.

“Coach Saban wasn’t talking to me,” Prime said.

“Coach Saban wasn’t talking to Jimbo Fisher. He was talking to his boosters. He was talking to his alumni. He was talking to his givers. He was trying to get money. That was what he was doing. He was just using us to get to where he was trying to get to.”

Saban appears to be threatened by the NIL advantages that schools in larger media markets may have. He also appears to not be a fan of the Prime Time way of rebuilding a program, all legal by the way.

Blow it all up. Hit the transfer portals. Wear a thick sweatshirt in a heatwave without sweating. Wear some swaggy accessories and treat the players like young men. The exact opposite of how the G.O.A.T. operates in Tuscaloosa.

The jealousy of Colorado’s brand of football, simmering in the SEC, will soon boil over to the rest of the elites.

Saban is now that guy, sitting on his porch, yelling at kids, “get off my lawn!”

All eyes on Saturday appeared to be on Colorado and its wild brand of football, if X (formerly Twitter) is any indication of interest.

We are still in week 1, but Alabama is not on everyone’s lips. And that is just so weird. It is like we all woke up in a foreign country without GPS.

Maybe Alabama v Texas will restore the universe and realign the planets. A victory by the Tide would return status quo. But if Texas wins, could it not make that same claim? If Alabama loses, the SEC may experience the brutal and cyclical nature of college football, like so many before it have.

Nothing lasts forever. Change is inevitable.

It’s Labor Day. Shorts, tanks, flip flops and some Bud Light [insert tongue in cheek] bid a final farewell to summer.

Colorado is wearing 6-inch Louboutin stilettos on the Red Carpet. Alabama is wearing Dr. Martens sitting in the bleachers. The Dr. Martens are more sensible, of course. And they last longer.

But the stilettos scream sexy, dangerous and fun. A wild night out on the town.

Want.

Badly.

*Per head coach Deion Sanders’s request, he will be referred to as Coach Prime or Coach.

R.I.P. Pac-9

Las Vegas, Nev—Last Friday, in a nightclub at Las Vegas Resorts World, the Pac-12 held its annual football Media Days.

For the record, I still cannot believe I just wrote that.

First off, the event was one day, not “days,” so the welcome sign’s subterfuge was already setting the tone before any coach or player had spoken. Did the other Power 5 conferences that hold media days —and actually take several days to hold them—notice?

Follow up: Did they still watch despite Coach Prime’s absence?

Then there were the optics of holding this event in a nightclub. The smallish, dark room matched the mood of the media. So there’s that, I guess.

The predictability of this event was not a surprise.

In true Pac-12 tradition, Wi-Fi connectivity was either intermittent or completely unavailable. Maybe they do not want us to report on things here, I mused. I gave up trying to connect through the Pac-12’s secured connection and just used the hotel’s unsecured network. [crossed fingers]

Pac-12 Commissioner George Kliavkoff took the stage and kicked things off. Actually, it was more like a shanked punt.

The predictable speech (including the mandatory mention of Stanford winning another Director’s Cup) was given. It seemed like the only Pac-12 achievement not highlighted or celebrated was a victory by the chess club.

Splashy videos, loud, booming music and an array of graphics rendered us dazed and confused. Was that on purpose? The glitzy impact temporarily distracted media from the elephant in the room. And the crappy Wi-Fi.

On to the fun. And unintentional fireworks.

A smiling Kliavkoff told us, “I think it’s fair to say this is the most highly anticipated Pac-12 media day in recent memory.” Maybe, but not for the reasons he thinks.

Reminder: in some countries, town square beheadings draw major crowds.

When asked about potential poaching from other conferences, the Commish told us with a straight face that it was “not a concern.”

“Our schools are committed to each other and to the Pac-12. The truth is we have bigger fish to fry.”

More on that fish in a bit.

Kliavkoff also touched on some pressing matters. Like, you know, what’s up with the media rights deal? Or lack of it?

“We are not announcing a [media rights] deal on purpose today because I want the focus to be on football,” the Commish announced.

Screeeeeeeeeeech

Now, to most folks, that sounds an awful lot like “we have a deal, we just don’t want to announce it because we want you to talk about football.” How else could anyone interpret that? [camera pans to Colorado’s athletic director]

The media, of course, pounced. One reporter—OK, really all of us—wanted clarity on the Commish’s statement and asked/stated/challenged him.

“That would imply that the deal is done and codified and you’re just waiting until after today.”

Kliavkoff answered, “I think you’re reading too much into that.”

Reading too much into it? Nah, that’s not it.

Announcing you aren’t announcing something that hasn’t been announced because today is not the day to announce it even though today was actually the perfect day to announce it is, well… breathtakingly deceptive.

It gets better.

OK… I lied.

“The longer we wait for the deal, the better our options get,” Kliavkoff explained.

“I think our board realizes that.”

The conference is losing the No. 2 media market in the country (Los Angeles) next year with USC and UCLA off to the Big Ten and Kliavkoff thinks he has better negotiating power? With whom? Home Shopping Network?

Kliavkoff also revealed his insight into the future. In case we had any doubts about the Pac-12, err, Pac-10’s future.

“I think the realignment that’s going on in college athletics will come to an end for this cycle.”

That was proclaimed six days ago.

Today, according to multiple news outlets, Colorado will be returning to the Big XII, the conference it ditched in 2010. The Big XII issued a statement today regarding Colorado. It was just two words. “They’re back.”

You have to admire the Big XII, a conference once looking dead, now stomping all over the Pac-12, err, Pac-10, err, Pac-9’s heart.

ESPN actually has a conference realignment tracker to keep up with all the rumors and facts, thereby smacking the Pac-12 Commish’s Pollyanna prognostication into oblivion.

This is peak Pac-12.

Since the conference currently has no (err, announced) media rights deal in place, this is going to cause a chain reaction. A four-corner state dominoes effect, if you will. Better description: a 90-car pileup on the I-95.

The Arizona schools will probably leave (flee) for the Big XII and Utah will likely follow. BYU and Utah in the same conference makes sense.

So what about everyone else? AKA the collateral damage.

Oregon does not look like a good fit for the Big Ten but does for the Big XII. Why?

Big Ten football is more traditional, more un-Oregon like. It is everything Oregon is not. The Ducks’ baseball, basketball and track and field programs are top notch. Having Uncle Phil as a supporter is a nice asset too. But probably not enough for Flyover Country. Ultra-liberal values, lots of trick plays and silly-looking stuff just do not mesh well with Midwest football’s blue-bloods. (Do not come at me, people. Half my family is from the Midwest.)

Washington and Stanford would fit in well in the Big Ten, especially with the high academic standards and—that’s right—the Director’s Cup monopoly. These schools take tailgating seriously.

Cardinal fans whip out the white linen tablecloths and chandeliers—if only they would remember to enter the stadium to watch the game—while Husky fans “sterngate” on their boats grilling salmon and sipping on Chardonnay. Also, Stanford v Northwestern has a nice, mega-educated ring to it, doesn’t it?

Washington State, Oregon State and Cal may have a come-to-Jesus moment in their futures. Could they be relegated to a Group of 5 conference?

While many Cal students probably would not even notice—the Bears notched a paltry 61 percent stadium capacity last year—the Cougar and Beaver fans deserve a Power 5 conference invite. Their fans are incredible. Their programs are improving.

Nobody wants to play Oregon State this year. Reser Stadium’s attendance is ranked No. 3 among all Power 5 teams. Cal is ranked No. 97, but to be fair to Cal, UCLA is the worst in the conference at No. 122.

So there you have it.

A conference in despair, despite having bigger fish to fry. Maybe it does. With a grunion.

Many (most) pundits will point fingers at former Commish Larry Scott—I’ll take the hit for the team and be the first in line with my finger pointed—but Kliavkoff never unraveled what Scott tangled. After two years on the job, he never recognized what a mess he had on his hands until Colorado’s Ralphie dropped a deuce on the Conference of Champions this week.

ESPN is reportedly only interested in airing a few Pac-12 games this season. Amazon and Apple are potential streaming sites while ION and CW, according to the report, are mentioned as possible network suitors.

Rest in peace, Pac-9.

College Football Regular Season Wrap-Up: Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud

We all see what’s going on in college football. Yet, we do not say the quiet part out loud. Except for me.

I flunked being a wallflower at age 10, according to my late father.

No hate here. I love the SEC and its fans. They have elevated the game and we are all for the better of it. But for those who were not blessed enough to experience college football every Saturday south of the Mason-Dixon Line, I will speak up for you. (You’re welcome).

When will this SEC bias stop?

After USC and TCU won their 11th and 12th games, respectively, a major (unnamed, but you can figure it out) sports network’s broadcasters were discussing between themselves on air at how a second SEC team could get in the College Football Playoff’s Final Four. And how Alabama is still not out of the Playoffs.

Really?

America was rejoicing over the usual suspects out of the national championship conversation and these guys threw it right back in our faces.

How about talking about TCU’s dream season? In depth. How quarterback Max Duggan should be a Heisman finalist. How USC’s turnaround is a major story that has not really been fawned over. How Caleb Williams is now a serious Heisman contender after being ignored for 10 weeks. How Michigan and Ohio State are legitimately playing Big Boy Football.

But no, we are subjected to a network’s bias toward a conference because… it has a financial stake in that conference. To be fair, they are not the only ones. FOXSports has a stake in the Big XII and Big Ten, as well. They too propagate how these conferences are just as competitive as others.

But since FOXSports has not, until recently, made headway into competing with that other network’s programming/time slots, most fans watch the majority of college football on one of that network’s various platforms.

In other words, most fans get a weekly dose of SEC football because while those teams’ games are on different cable channels, they are under one network.

SEC Fatigue Syndrome. It is a pandemic. And the biased talking heads and influencers are rearing their ugly heads.

Arkansas was ranked in the Top 10 for two weeks before losing six of its last nine games. In week 10, Alabama was the only one-loss team ranked ahead of 8-0 TCU. LSU was the only two-loss team ranked in the Top 10 as well.

Alabama head coach Nick Saban is now campaigning for the two-loss Crimson Tide to be included in the Playoffs despite its best win being against No. 21 Texas.

Woof.

A friendly reminder to those fans who count a win over a ranked opponent in real time: if your team beats a highly-ranked team, that opponent’s ranking (at that time) does not reflect how good that team is. The final ranking of that opponent does.

Case in point: Texas A&M.

The Aggies were overrated at No. 6 in the preseason rankings. Nobody learned from last year’s identical mistake.

In week three, the the Aggies dropped 18 spots to No. 24 after losing to Appalachian State, 17-14. They shot up to No. 17 after beating an overrated Arkansas (remember, Arkansas lost six of its last nine games). Mississippi State then got a ranking bump after beating a No. 17 Aggie team that promptly extended its losing streak to six. Maybe next year the pollsters will show restraint.

Better yet, let’s do away from polls until after week six.

This year an SEC team will not win the National Championship.

Full stop.

No disrespect to Georgia, a fine football team, but the Bulldogs look beatable. They are not peaking. Guess who is?

Michigan. TCU. USC.

Pick one. Wanna play that team?

Those three teams look hungry as hell. They look like world-beaters right now.

TCU is having itself a season behind stud Max Duggan and a nasty defense to boot. Michigan, despite all of its injuries, does not care what the odds are. Jim Harbaugh’s Wolverines want to maul everyone they play. Tasting some Buckeye blood is feeding their souls.

USC beat UCLA and Notre Dame, its two rivals. While the Bruins’ contest was too close for comfort, the Fighting Irish folded like lawn chairs when the Trojans finally discovered their defense. Quarterback Caleb Williams even struck the pose.

I recognize the vibe that all three teams are exuding.

It was in January of 2003 at the Orange Bowl. No. 5 USC v No. 3 Iowa. Quarterback Carson Palmer had won the Heisman, beating out Iowa quarterback Brad Banks. The Iowa fans were salty, even saltier after the Hawkeyes took the Trojans’ opening kickoff to the House.

USC, coached by Pete Carroll, discovered its destiny while scoring 28 second-half points and won, 38-17.

You could just feel it. Like a hunger. USC was about to go on a tear through the college football landscape. It was an electric storm brewing.

That same electricity is surrounding Michigan, TCU and USC. Not so much with Georgia.

Perhaps the reason why is the continued slow decline to mediocrity of the SEC. After all, college football is cyclical. Isn’t it the SEC’s turn now?

Alabama v Auburn in the Iron Bowl used to be a College Game Day staple. The Iron Bowl’s importance took a dive this year. There was more interest in the Ole Miss-Mississippi State Egg Bowl, wasn’t there?

Because of the mediocre play of the SEC West, most eyes will be glued to USC v Utah in the Pac-12 Championship and TCU v Kansas State in the Big 12 Championship. Not the SEC Championship. Why?

Two teams—TCU and USC—will finally break the stranglehold the SEC—and to some extent the ACC—has had on national championship implications.

IF they win.

And I think they will. The talking heads and influencers have Georgia v Michigan in the national championship. Of course.

The ACC and the SEC will still field some great teams. But the conferences as a whole will not be as strong as they were once considered. Between the transfer portals and the cyclical nature of college football, the next few years are clear.

USC, TCU, Michigan and Ohio State are getting better. They have caught up to the SEC elite. So have their conferences.

There.

The quiet part has been spoken.