R.I.P. Pac-9

Las Vegas, Nev—Last Friday, in a nightclub at Las Vegas Resorts World, the Pac-12 held its annual football Media Days.

For the record, I still cannot believe I just wrote that.

First off, the event was one day, not “days,” so the welcome sign’s subterfuge was already setting the tone before any coach or player had spoken. Did the other Power 5 conferences that hold media days —and actually take several days to hold them—notice?

Follow up: Did they still watch despite Coach Prime’s absence?

Then there were the optics of holding this event in a nightclub. The smallish, dark room matched the mood of the media. So there’s that, I guess.

The predictability of this event was not a surprise.

In true Pac-12 tradition, Wi-Fi connectivity was either intermittent or completely unavailable. Maybe they do not want us to report on things here, I mused. I gave up trying to connect through the Pac-12’s secured connection and just used the hotel’s unsecured network. [crossed fingers]

Pac-12 Commissioner George Kliavkoff took the stage and kicked things off. Actually, it was more like a shanked punt.

The predictable speech (including the mandatory mention of Stanford winning another Director’s Cup) was given. It seemed like the only Pac-12 achievement not highlighted or celebrated was a victory by the chess club.

Splashy videos, loud, booming music and an array of graphics rendered us dazed and confused. Was that on purpose? The glitzy impact temporarily distracted media from the elephant in the room. And the crappy Wi-Fi.

On to the fun. And unintentional fireworks.

A smiling Kliavkoff told us, “I think it’s fair to say this is the most highly anticipated Pac-12 media day in recent memory.” Maybe, but not for the reasons he thinks.

Reminder: in some countries, town square beheadings draw major crowds.

When asked about potential poaching from other conferences, the Commish told us with a straight face that it was “not a concern.”

“Our schools are committed to each other and to the Pac-12. The truth is we have bigger fish to fry.”

More on that fish in a bit.

Kliavkoff also touched on some pressing matters. Like, you know, what’s up with the media rights deal? Or lack of it?

“We are not announcing a [media rights] deal on purpose today because I want the focus to be on football,” the Commish announced.

Screeeeeeeeeeech

Now, to most folks, that sounds an awful lot like “we have a deal, we just don’t want to announce it because we want you to talk about football.” How else could anyone interpret that? [camera pans to Colorado’s athletic director]

The media, of course, pounced. One reporter—OK, really all of us—wanted clarity on the Commish’s statement and asked/stated/challenged him.

“That would imply that the deal is done and codified and you’re just waiting until after today.”

Kliavkoff answered, “I think you’re reading too much into that.”

Reading too much into it? Nah, that’s not it.

Announcing you aren’t announcing something that hasn’t been announced because today is not the day to announce it even though today was actually the perfect day to announce it is, well… breathtakingly deceptive.

It gets better.

OK… I lied.

“The longer we wait for the deal, the better our options get,” Kliavkoff explained.

“I think our board realizes that.”

The conference is losing the No. 2 media market in the country (Los Angeles) next year with USC and UCLA off to the Big Ten and Kliavkoff thinks he has better negotiating power? With whom? Home Shopping Network?

Kliavkoff also revealed his insight into the future. In case we had any doubts about the Pac-12, err, Pac-10’s future.

“I think the realignment that’s going on in college athletics will come to an end for this cycle.”

That was proclaimed six days ago.

Today, according to multiple news outlets, Colorado will be returning to the Big XII, the conference it ditched in 2010. The Big XII issued a statement today regarding Colorado. It was just two words. “They’re back.”

You have to admire the Big XII, a conference once looking dead, now stomping all over the Pac-12, err, Pac-10, err, Pac-9’s heart.

ESPN actually has a conference realignment tracker to keep up with all the rumors and facts, thereby smacking the Pac-12 Commish’s Pollyanna prognostication into oblivion.

This is peak Pac-12.

Since the conference currently has no (err, announced) media rights deal in place, this is going to cause a chain reaction. A four-corner state dominoes effect, if you will. Better description: a 90-car pileup on the I-95.

The Arizona schools will probably leave (flee) for the Big XII and Utah will likely follow. BYU and Utah in the same conference makes sense.

So what about everyone else? AKA the collateral damage.

Oregon does not look like a good fit for the Big Ten but does for the Big XII. Why?

Big Ten football is more traditional, more un-Oregon like. It is everything Oregon is not. The Ducks’ baseball, basketball and track and field programs are top notch. Having Uncle Phil as a supporter is a nice asset too. But probably not enough for Flyover Country. Ultra-liberal values, lots of trick plays and silly-looking stuff just do not mesh well with Midwest football’s blue-bloods. (Do not come at me, people. Half my family is from the Midwest.)

Washington and Stanford would fit in well in the Big Ten, especially with the high academic standards and—that’s right—the Director’s Cup monopoly. These schools take tailgating seriously.

Cardinal fans whip out the white linen tablecloths and chandeliers—if only they would remember to enter the stadium to watch the game—while Husky fans “sterngate” on their boats grilling salmon and sipping on Chardonnay. Also, Stanford v Northwestern has a nice, mega-educated ring to it, doesn’t it?

Washington State, Oregon State and Cal may have a come-to-Jesus moment in their futures. Could they be relegated to a Group of 5 conference?

While many Cal students probably would not even notice—the Bears notched a paltry 61 percent stadium capacity last year—the Cougar and Beaver fans deserve a Power 5 conference invite. Their fans are incredible. Their programs are improving.

Nobody wants to play Oregon State this year. Reser Stadium’s attendance is ranked No. 3 among all Power 5 teams. Cal is ranked No. 97, but to be fair to Cal, UCLA is the worst in the conference at No. 122.

So there you have it.

A conference in despair, despite having bigger fish to fry. Maybe it does. With a grunion.

Many (most) pundits will point fingers at former Commish Larry Scott—I’ll take the hit for the team and be the first in line with my finger pointed—but Kliavkoff never unraveled what Scott tangled. After two years on the job, he never recognized what a mess he had on his hands until Colorado’s Ralphie dropped a deuce on the Conference of Champions this week.

ESPN is reportedly only interested in airing a few Pac-12 games this season. Amazon and Apple are potential streaming sites while ION and CW, according to the report, are mentioned as possible network suitors.

Rest in peace, Pac-9.

Top 10 Offbeat or Weird Places to Watch a College Football Game

Ok, we readily admit that (for the most part) being in a stadium, beer and hot dog in hands, marching band playing and cheerleaders, well… cheerleading is the best place to watch college football.

But what if… life gets in the way?

Your BFF decides to get married in September. Sigh. Your clueless cousin decides that November is a great time to host a family reunion. Wrong! Your colleague wants to do a road trip in August. Get that resume updated!

I’ve been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt and hat (thank you, Kenny Chesney) and have concluded that college football does not sit in the corner for anybody.

The die-hard fan will not be denied.

So yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and there is a place for you to watch your football. No matter who or what tries to stop you. Just make sure you have access to satellite TV or an app that delivers the goods.

And some understanding friends and family.

courtesy of the AP

A dive bar in the Tropics

I’m a fan of funky, tropical dive bars. And no, “dive bar” is not necessarily a place where the carpets get squeegeed after last call. It is “a coveted badge of honor bestowed by aficionados looking for authenticity in such establishments,” according to Google search. To recap, dive bars are cool and location, location, location makes them more swaggy.

Drinking a Hemingway’s Mojito watching the Florida Gators play the Miami Hurricanes at the end of the world, aka Sloppy Joes in Key West? Yes, thank you. Sipping a Mai Tai at Arnold’s Beach Bar in Waikiki watching any football game? Hell, yes. Pass the free popcorn popped in bacon grease, please.

If your team is winning, you get to celebrate with all the beautiful people. If your team is losing, drowning your sorrows in a Pacific archipelago isn’t all that bad.

courtesy of Bakersfield Bail Bonds

Traffic School

Hey, if you can get away with it, go for it. Just remember you paid a premium for that eight-hour traffic school so your insurance premiums don’t go up. Do not mess this up.

You will not fly under the radar if you wear your team’s jersey, eye black and some Bose headphones to class. But an 11-99 Foundation tee, khaki Dockers and a secret ear piece should get you teacher’s pet points while the rest of the class feels like felons. You get bonus points galore for going to Saturday school, watching the game, nixing insurance/DMV penalties and proving yes, you really can have it all.

courtesy of Cruise America

In an RV at a national park

Picture this: You’ve got an RV all tricked out with a widescreen TV attached to the outside of the vehicle. Your captain’s chair and remote control are beckoning as a camp fire crackles. A frosty, cold beer(s) sits in a cooler as your pulled pork slowly cooks in a tin pot. Leaves rustle in the distance. An owl hoots nearby.

Nobody can hear you scream. It’s perfect for those fans who root, root, root for the home team (sing along, everybody!), no matter how badly it sucks.

Highly recommended: Glacier National Park and Yellowstone National Park.

courtesy of Golf Ads

Golf course

This one is a bit tricky. First, you actually have to do something physical while watching your game. It’s called golf. But golf carts can be your saving grace.

Slap your cell phone on the seat or rent a cart that has a TV screen already installed. Now go play the most frustrating sport in the world. Lining up your birdie putt may take a wee bit longer than normal if your team is facing 4th-and-1 at the 1-yard line, down four points with a minute left in regulation.

Did you make a great shot? Throw your club in a sand trap or into the water hazard. The time it takes to fish it out allows you time to dry off and watch instant replays of that glorious touchdown or pick 6.

Golf is literally the perfect sport to watch… other sports. The 19th hole awaits.

courtesy of Orleanscasino.com

Las Vegas casino

Hear me out. I once watched LSU v Alabama (2011’s Game of the Century) at the Orleans Hotel and was given free food and alcohol, including sub-zero tequila shots. There was actually a Patron machine there. Anyway, the casino’s sports book had that game on its big screen. The entire area in front of that screen (see above) was divided down the middle into two sections via theater rope.

Gotta keep the proverbial Hatfields and McCoys separated, right? Free hot dogs and pizza were flying. If you were sitting at slot machines, watching the game while pretending to gamble, your drinks were free. It was loud, bawdy and Southern. Best experience ever.

courtesy of Sacramento Bee

Ski lodge

So here is how this works: dress like a ski bum recovering from a horrible ski accident that tore up your meniscus. Wear the awesome clothes (and a cane), but have a portable TV/smart phone nearby to watch your team play.

Park yourself behind the main lodge’s window. Order some chili con carne in a sourdough bowl, a frosty beer or Irish coffee and chill with your injured leg propped up. Your new found friends will join you shortly. During the TV commercials you have a splendid view of your fellow skiers skiing/crashing/cursing/being rescued by ski patrol in a sled.

photo by Jordan Wright via familyreunionhelper.com

Family reunion

The motive behind planning family reunions is pure. The reality of family reunions is a mixed bag of flowers and manure. Sure, it is nice to meet your wife’s second cousin but these meetings can be so awkward. Throwing complete strangers together and expecting them all to have something to talk about beside sex, politics and religion is impossible.

These reunions are usually planned over a weekend when football is being played. The nerve of these people! So run around and shake hands with everyone—the wife will be happy with your boyish charm. But bring a large TV and set up your man cave next to Aunt Ethel’s homemade potato salad and Cousin Betty’s cheese curds. You will find out quickly which relatives are the coolest—they will be the ones trying to sit next to you.

courtesy of CBS Sports

A wedding

Just how good of friends are these people inviting you to a fall wedding, anyway? Clearly, they do not know you very well. I do. My friends have all been briefed and understand that any invite to a wedding held on any Saturday from late-August to early-January will promptly get a “nay” from me on the cutesy, RSVP card and sent off in the self-addressed, stamped envelope—but I’ll send a nice gift, OK?

I have attended one fall wedding. Since it was my first (and last), I remember it well. I spent the entire reception/dinner time in the bar, cheering on my team. I was perfectly content skipping the rubber-like chicken dinner and instead, noshing on martini olives and pineapple wedges. This experience led to the birth of my personal personal hashtag #StopFallWeddings and a date with the bartender later that week. Just sayin’.

You could get lucky and go to a football themed wedding but unless you live in SEC Country (see above), that isn’t happening.

If you have to go, bring your portable TV. In less time than you can blink, your entire table will be crowded with football fans. Free drinks—unless it’s a cash bar in which case why are you seriously even there?—and food aren’t so bad when you can watch football with all of your new BFFs.

courtesy of Cameron Ingalls/DAOU Vineyards

Winery

If you know your team is going to lose, why not go to a place where you can stare at beautiful scenery and drink like a fish? Listen, if my team loses while I am in Paso Robles, sitting in an Adirondack chair overlooking the valley while drinking DAOU’s Soul of Lion Bordeaux blend, things aren’t necessarily DEFCON 1.

Watching a tight game at Napa Valley’s Stag’s Leap Wine Cellars, sipping a big red [tip of the hat to 2015’s Fay] while navigating through an epic charcuterie board seems pretty on point, doesn’t it?

courtesy of talkingcruise.com

On a cruise ship in the Caribbean

College football’s week one used to start the Thursday before Labor Day. Now it starts the week prior and is nicknamed week zero. With only 11 games scheduled Saturday, August 27, the pickins’ are slim. There can/will be some bad football games, although for the football-starved fan, no game is technically bad—it just never reaches its potential.

In any case, laying in a lounger on the Lido Deck, watching a football game on a big screen while a Jamaican steel drum band plays near you can ease the pain of bad officiating. Maybe that targeting call was not such a bad call? Maybe the sun glaring on your glistening, tan/burned skin distorted your vision?

“A drink will make your eyesight better,” the Caribbean Queen Fairy whispers in your ear.

With smooth, white sand beaches in the distance and the palm trees swaying in the tropical breezes, the bad play-calling becomes less cringey. Hmmm, you think. Maybe this really is a good time to try out that Statue of Liberty play while inside your own 15.

“Imbibe in a Goombay Smash,” you hear CQF say.

Crystal clear turquoise water slaps the hull of your ship. Colorfully dressed servers twirl tall pineapples/short coconuts filled with cold concoctions. Their little umbrellas and plastic monkeys hanging on for dear life will make you forget… well… damn, what was I supposed to be doing here? Pickleball?

I forgot.

Come to think of it, watch the game if you can. But DVR it at home just in case you get lost in Paradise on August 27.

PS- I’ll be in the Southern Caribbean when the first football game of the 2022 season kicks off on my birthday. I’ll be on Royal Caribbean’s Explorer of the Seas watching football with some of the best human beings on this planet: my husband—the coolest person I know beside my twin—and our dear friends Mike (go K State!) and Cindy (go K State too!)

I’ll post pictures.

If I remember.

Pac-12 Football Media Day: An Awkward, Spicy, Defiant Hot Dog with a Spotty Aura and a Pitch (?) to the Big Ten

Los Angeles—Pac-12 Commissioner George Kliavkoff kicked off Pac-12 Football Media Day at the Novo Theater on Friday with a salty question-and-answer session with the media. Why, you ask, was he salty?

Well, there’s still that elephant in the room. And it seems to have grown since its last sighting.

Kliavkoff knew that the majority of the questions were going to be about expansion. And USC. And U.C.L.A. Because … duh.

Yet, he still expressed impatience and annoyance when those questions were asked. A couple of nervous laughs and smirks were also observed.

George Kliavkoff

When asked about the Big XII’s comment about it being “open for business,” Kliavkoff pulled out his quiver and delivered a first of several arrows.

“I haven’t decided if we’re going shopping there or not,” he responded.

Kliavkoff also talked about weapons of mass destruction. “I’ve been spending four weeks trying to defend grenades from every corner of the Big 12,” he said.

“I get why they’re scared. I get why they’re trying to destabilize us.”

Alrighty then.

If “awkward” and “spicy” were on your Pac-12 Media Day bingo card, congrats. It was all that and more. It had that SEC-type vibe to it. Without the standing-room-only screaming fans, championship banners, rings and trophies, of course.

Curtis Compton/ccompton@ajc.com

After I described the media room’s tone as a spicy hotdog, a reporter sitting next to me, Chris Karpman, replied, “Not a lot of meat on the bones. A lot of condiments though.”

Perfect.

Kliavkoff is clearly ticked at USC and U.C.L.A.—officially he is “disappointed”—but he also said he would “welcome [U.C.L.A.] back.”

“I personally have instructed everyone at our conference to make sure that USC and UCLA student-athletes are given every opportunity to compete and succeed for as long as they remain in the Pac-12,” he added.

Translation: Be nice, fellas. I’m trying to keep this family together even though we had a meeting with 10 schools yesterday and we didn’t invite them (because it was about the future of the conference), according to SI’s Ross Dellenger.

That really happened. But no hard feelings, right?

Once the Commish left—OK, fled—the stage, the coaches were put in the spotlight.

Pesky expansion and defection questions were being asked and the coaches were not too excited about that. They wanted to talk about their own schools, not those other two schools. Go figure.

It was like watching a hamster fight. To be fair, I’ve never seen one. But after this afternoon’s follies, I think I’ve got the picture.

Colorado head coach Karl Dorrell described the Bruins’ move to the Big Ten as “shocking… but I wish them the very best.” His team was picked to finish last by the media. But he’s still No. 1 in politeness.

Utah’s Kyle Whittingham was the big dog in the morning—sorry, Oregon—because Utah was picked by the media to repeat as conference champion. He ended up talking a lot about the Rose Bowl and the Florida Gators, the Utes’ first opponent of the season.

Whittingham is intense and a coach’s coach. The media know better than to push his buttons. He wants to play football. And win. Everything else is minutia.

Oregon head coach Dan Lanning was a fresh, bright face. He was exuberant, positive and effusive at his first Pac-12 Media Day. He also spent a lot of time talking Oregon’s brand and its highly-rated games.

“Since 2010 there’s been nine teams that have played for a national championship,” Lanning said, a mere 15 seconds after being introduced by the moderator.

“Fortunate enough that Oregon has done that twice. Multiple conference championships have been won at this place. Obviously we had 2.57 million
viewers tune in every single week to watch our games, which is top 10 in the nation, best in our conference.”

How many coaches know their per-game-average of TV ratings? Seriously?

It really sounded like Phil Knight wrote his sale pitch to the Big Ten.

“I’m excited about the direction of our program, excited about being part of the fastest-growing brand in college football,” Lanning said.

How does he feel about playing his former team, Georgia? Lanning complimented the SEC, of course. Then he went back to pitching Oregon.

“Oregon, like I said, is a national brand. It’s fun to be in a place where you get to play premier opponents like Georgia.”

Wait, there’s more.

Dan Lanning

When asked if USC and UCLA’s future move has become part of the recruiting conversation, Lanning continued to hit those selling points.

“Oregon has been always a premier team in college football. I think we’ll continue to be. Our fans are extremely passionate. Being a top-10 team when it comes to views in homes this last year, the ability to compete for championships year in and year out with coaching changes and different things.”

Phil Knight must be pleased. “Brand” was mentioned more than once and television ratings weren’t touched upon by Lanning. They were molested.

If Big Ten Commissioner Kevin Warren was watching, well, Oregon should give Lanning a raise and a new pair of sneakers every holiday.

Arizona head coach Jedd Fisch opened up his podium speech by talking about… wait for it… the LA Rams and their Super Bowl win. When you go 1-11 your first year, sometimes you have to go back a few years to when you were a coach on a winning team—even though it was in the N.F.L.

Fisch gets Charlie Weis’s seal of approval.

Fisch was a delight. He even inner-channelled former Washington State head coach Mike Leach.

“Other coaches are telling recruits that we’re an off-season team, and we appreciate them pointing out our great off-season, but we feel like we’re going to be a really good in-season team too.”

A college football coach’s humor is so underrated.

Stanford head coach David Shaw provided his usual sportsmanship and class. But he also dropped some dog humor on us.

When asked if losing the two L.A. teams would diminish Stanford’s strength of schedule, he answered, “First of all, that’s two years from now.”

“That’s 14 years… regular people years… two college football seasons.”

With half the day’s events over, a break was in order. Lunch was an excruciating experience.

I give you my play-by-play:

We are told that lunch will be served on the fifth level terrace. We pile into the elevators after a *helpful* Pac-12 info person yells, “lunch is on the fifth floor” every 10 seconds. Everyone is uncomfortable because we had to wait awhile for an empty elevator while listening to her repeatedly tell us where to go.

We get off at the fifth level. We walk to the other side of the building and run into a dead end. A *helpful* Pac-12 info person tells us, “Yes, lunch is on the fifth level, but you have to go back to the elevators, go down to level four, then go across the building and take the elevator up to the fifth level.”

Did you get all that?

As we go back down to the fourth level, another Pac-12 info person is yelling about the fifth level lunch terrace.

Huh?

Now I know why USC and U.C.L.A. are leaving. It all makes sense.

Jake Dickert

We finally make it to the terrace on the fifth floor (achievement unlocked!) and discover there are not enough tables to seat everyone. I find a fun-looking table with two open seats, sit down and pick at my salad. I chatted with a nice, young man for 30 minutes before he introduces himself as Washington State’s new head coach, Jake Dickert. [Insert sheepish look here]

I had a terrific time talking with with him (and his players) and started feeling pretty good when I headed back to the elevators.

Good feeling… gone.

We went down to the third floor. Big mistake. What were we thinking taking the most direct route back to our work stations?

We have to go back to the fourth floor, walk to the other side of the building, then take the elevator down to the third floor and enter the Novo Theater. I sit down and decide if I should take a nap or watch the pending—if you’re a pessimist, looming—speeches/comedy/fireworks/paparazzi about to take place. Wisely, I chose the latter.

Arizona State head coach Herm Edwards was at the podium.

“Next thing I’m going to comment on before I open it up for questions, I’ve never taken so many elevators in a day,” he said. “I’m elevatored out right now. I don’t know what button to push, what floor I’m going to, but I know there’s a lot in this building, and they all work.”

Herm Edwards

Herm Edwards is my hero.

When he exited stage right he muttered, “Gotta go catch an elevator.”

As expected, U.C.L.A and USC were the last two schools on the schedule. Ostensibly, this is done to keep everyone here until the end so they can fight Friday traffic at its worst.

Chip Kelly

Bruins’ head coach Chip Kelly was worth the wait. The quips were fast and furious.

He was asked how far it is from his campus to Piscataway, New Jersey (Rutgers’ campus).

“It’s 2,765 miles,” he replied grinning.

“Four-and-a-half-hour flight. If you’re going west to east it’s longer because the weather goes across the country. Coming back would be a little bit longer, so… we hope that we win because then you don’t worry about how long the ride is on the way back.”

A Canadian reporter from Quebec started to ask him a question and Chip couldn’t help himself.

“We’re not going to Quebec,” he laughed.

Lincoln Riley

USC’s Lincoln Riley was last man up and his presence conjured up images from the Pete Carroll era. Photographers rushed up to the stage. Shutters were clicking and lights were flashing. Just like the good old days.

Riley didn’t mess around. He made some bold statements.

“We expect to have a national championship-caliber defense here at USC,” he proclaimed. USC fans must have swarmed the ticket office website after that statement.

“The people we brought in here, the staff we brought in here, we didn’t come here to play for second, he said.

“We came here competitively to win championships, win them now and to win them for a long time. That will always be our expectation.”

A reporter followed that up with, “What is your expectation for this year?”

“To win the championship,” Riley responded, without hesitation.

USC has its coach. U.C.L.A. has its coach. And for the next two years, it looks like the two defectors of the Pac-12 will be not only running L.A., but the entire conference. The swagger was there on display.

Overall, the day was as expected. Awkward. There were also some bizarre moments.

Between coaches’ media sessions we were “treated” to some interesting music choices. Bruno Mars’ “Uptown Express” was on a loop. But instead of Mars we got dueling violins.

There were two unidentifiable, fake plants set at each side of the stage. They stood out like a rack of ribs at a Vegan brunch. One of my Twitter followers suggested it was Cannabis. That would have been the most LA-thing ever.

Finally, the Internet is apparently a newfangled thing that this conference still has not figured out. “Spotty” does not even begin to describe this mess.

Was it a coincidence that as soon as the Pac-12 Commissioner began his opening remarks, the Wifi was non-existent?

Every Pac-12 Media Day has had this problem. I’ve never experienced a Wifi problem-free Media Day.

Maybe the Big Ten or Big XII can help the Pac-12 figure it out?

The Pac-12’s Media Day will be a Circus because of USC and UCLA’s Defections

It has been 13 days since USC and UCLA shocked the college football landscape with their defections to the Big Ten. The quickness and lethalness of their traitorous journey were discussed ubiquitously. It was a lesson in efficiency, secret-keeping and stupefaction.

Oklahoma and Texas’s conference expansion wrecking ball took an entire week before the carnage was done.

USC and UCLA—from their rumored exit from the Pac-12 to their admission to the Big Ten (effective 2024)—took….wait for it… one day.

The Pac-12 was blindsided from Jon Wilner’s June 30 article that reported USC and UCLA were planning to leave the Pac-12 for the Big Ten. Its teams were still trying to absorb that report when the merciful Big Ten put the Pac-12 out of its misery the next day.

One minute the Pac-12 was eating grilled salmon and drinking Pinot Noir. The next day it was eating crow and drinking Boost nutritional supplements.

The supposed ties between the West Coast, Arizona, Pacific Northwest and Mountain schools are ostensibly strained. Are partnerships on shaky ground?

Oregon is reportedly itching to go to the Big Ten but no mention is being made of its in-state rival, Oregon State. Washington has been rumored to be in the mix for the Big Ten admission as well, but Washington State is being left high and dry. At least USC took UCLA to the Big Ten, right?

Pac-12 Media Day, which will be held in Los Angeles on July 29, will be beyond awkward. It will be a three-ring circus. But not in a fun way.

Two schools attending Pac-12’s Media Day will be traitors. Soon-to-be very rich traitors. The rest are hopeful survivors of a treasonous pilgrimage.

Wanna bet most of the questions to the “other 10 coaches” will be about USC or UCLA? The Pac-12 should include antacid alongside the Pac-12-branded water bottles for the coaches at the podium. Radio row should include a safe space for those who cannot stand being the jilted lover.

This media day will be all about USC and UCLA. More than usual. It’s a biting indictment of how important those two schools are to the conference and how poorly the conference’s leadership has been in developing and maintaining revenue for its members.

The Pac-12 knows that this is its fault. If it does not, then the conference will dissolve due to its myopic vision.

Sure, on July 29 it will try to put lipstick on a pig. Barring any major announcements or deals, the only way that pig gets a second look is if it flies.

Beside the pending awkwardness of Pac-12 Media Day are the unanswered questions.

If you’re Commissioner George Kliavkoff, do you continue the Larry Scott tradition of starting off the morning with loud, blaring, mind-numbing music amidst a backdrop of flashy graphics and flexing athletes showing off all the national titles the Pac-12 won last year?

Or do you just play “Taps”?

Do you still provide a vegan-option lunch alternative or do you just hire an In-N-Out catering truck and call it a day?

courtesy of Liberty Baptist Church

Just what will Kliavkoff talk about?

He cannot ignore the elephant(s) in the room, can he?

One minute Washington State and Oregon State are thinking about contending for the North’s division title, the next they are contemplating winning the Mountain West in 2024.

Oregon thought its value was worthy of a Big Ten invite. It still may be. But time is ticking and the longer the wait, the less leverage Oregon has. If the Big Ten does come calling, do not dismiss the Ducks having to settle for a 50 percent revenue cut. While that’s still around $50 million, a lot of feathers are going to be ruffled.

The reality is that Oregon is nowhere near the powerhouses of USC and UCLA. Yes, even though Trojan and Bruin football has been dismal. Yes, even though Oregon blah, blah, blah.

Life is cruel.

Kliavkoff will try to put a good spin for the remaining Pac-12(10?) schools, but there are some things he cannot avoid. The Conference of Champions is losing two schools that won a combined 253 team titles. More from the NCAA:

“Forty-one of those championships are from the Trojans and Bruins track and field teams, with USC leading its crosstown rival 28-13.

To put that in perspective, the Big Ten has won 11 track and field championships from all of its programs combined. In men’s track and field, the Big Ten has won just one title in the last 73 years; USC and UCLA have combined for 24 championships. In women’s outdoor track and field, no Big Ten team has ever won a title; the Lady Trojans won two of the last five championships.”

The Conference of Champions has won 544 national titles. Last year the conference won titles in men and women’s water polo, snow skiing, women’s outdoor track and field, beach volleyball, men’s gymnastics, women’s basketball and men’s indoor track and field.

The Conference of Champions is a cool motto. Larry Scott embraced it. And forty years ago, when…you know…the Pac-12 was winning revenue-producing sports’ championships, the motto applied. Now, it sounds like it should belong on a cereal box.

Kliavkoff needs to stop celebrating the past and address the future. Do not add schools that are not elite. Join another Power 5 conference and become the first super conference. And while it is nice to celebrate national titles from sports other than football, at football media days, read the damn room.

Football is what makes the world go around.

In fact, among all NIL deals, 50 percent of college athlete earnings come from football, according to a SportsProMedia report. The better the athletes, the better the team, the better the NIL deals.

So yes, college football matters. To the players (ka-ching!), the conferences (Eureka!) and the fans (aka boosters). Also, Las Vegas sends its love.

But back to the three-ring circus.

Oddly, Stanford has been pretty quiet about this whole thing. Do the Cardinal even know what’s going on? Pity the reporter who asks Stanford head coach David Shaw about this.

Shaw is a complete professional—he is actually my favorite coach with whom to have lunch—but his look of disapproval or disdain is about as subtle as egg salad that has been left in the sun all day. Count on Shaw to be cranky at Media Day.

Shaw’s crankiness may be overshadowed by Colorado’s Karl “I came back for this crap?” Dorrell, Utah’s Kyle “we finally are picked to win the conference and this happens?” Whittingham and Washington State’s Jake “does anyone have Mike Leach’s phone number?” Dickert.

Dorrell is fairly soft spoken. He will be subdued but ornery. Whittingham was probably a drill sergeant in a former life so expect dust to be stirred up, mics to be stretched to the limit and steely eyes on every reporter who touches on the expansion talk.

Dickert, well, maybe he should just hit the bar instead. Cougar fans will always be waiting.

Overall, I do not expect much to change at Pac-12 Media Day in terms of production, scheduling, protocols or ambiance. It is predictable as death, taxes and the children’s menu at national chain restaurants.

The Pac-12’s Media Day has always taken a backseat to the SEC and Big Ten Media Days. Maybe it is because the SEC and Big Ten have Media Days and the Pac-12 has Media Day. That is how much importance the Pac-12 places on football.

One friggin day.

courtesy of al.com

This year SEC schools are not bringing two players to their Media Days. They are bringing three. The sessions last from Monday July 18-21.

Four days.

The Big XII will spread its Media Days over two days. So will the ACC and the Big Ten. They will all have each school represented by three players. The only Power 5 conference that brings two players?

The Pac-12.

Maybe that will change this year.

Maybe sports fans should google “Pac-12 Media Day” and see what comes up. The lack of information and articles are telling compared to the SEC and Big Ten Media Days. Go ahead, google it.

Does the Pac-12 really not have that much to talk about?

This year they do.

For all the wrong reasons.