Gainesville, FL—As Sandra Bullock’s character Leigh Anne Tuohy said in The Blind Side, “well, alrighty then.”
This is different. In a good way.
Like when you eat a nice steak with truffle butter melting on it. Sure, grilled filet mignon is wonderful as is. But with truffle butter? Hoo boy!
It is just so extra. Kinda like SEC football.
It is just different.
OK, I get it now, SEC fans. You guys win. On Saturday night, I lost my Southern football virginity at the Florida v Kentucky game. Because y’all know how to football better than all y’all.
Period.
More. Please.
Ninety minutes before kickoff, the stadium is 25 percent full. And its occupants are turnt. I bring this up only because I am used to sober, empty West Coast stadiums (which shall remain anonymous) five minutes before kickoff.
I want to do the chomp chomp when I take my seat. But first, I let all the Southern gentlemen open the doors for me in the Media Lounge.
Somebody pinch me. This flirting is getting out of hand and the game has not even started.
So… The Swamp.
It has such a cool reputation.
Tonight it’s a brisk 69 degrees and the wind is blowing at five miles-per-hour, according to the press box information officer. Yeah… no. More like 20 miles-per-hour.
The Swamp is now The Igloo.
Let’s see if I can encapsulate today’s epic football experience.
Nope, not possible. This has to be experienced first-hand. With a beer in the other hand.
The team’s entrance onto the football field is intimidating as hell. The lights turn out, there’s a red glow in the stadium and the theme to “Jaws” is scaring the mittens off of my cold, trembling fingers. The crowd is screaming and looking like Pac-man doing their chomp chomp hand gestures.
The Kentucky Wildcats come out and the boos rain down so loudly I am shook. But the Gators steal their thunder—OK, not really, but I am trying to be nice here—by running onto the field at the same time.
The nerve! [grins broadly]
The players run by some flaming torches. Or, maybe… the team coming out with its hair on fire lit up the torches?
Mass pandemonium ensues in The Igloo. I have no idea what song the band is playing because the decibel level is akin to a Space X launch.
I grin. I pop some aspirin into my mouth to kill the noise-inducing headache.
“How much fun is this,” I ask myself?
I check the USC v Maryland score. Good feeling gone. But I digress.
Florida is 3-3 going into this game. You would think the fans are a bit depressed. (Have you seen the Gators’ next five games scheduled? Somebody needs to check on Al E. Gator by mid-November)
Nope, they are totally into this football game. And they cheer like the Natty is on the line here. Or at least a conference championship.
But no, it is Kentucky. And it does not make a difference.
This felt like a national championship game. Every play was super important and game-deciding. Seriously. Every pre-snap felt like 88,000 pearl necklaces were being clutched and then… snapped.
So during the (numerous) SEC Network commercial breaks did The Igloo quiet down?
No, it did not.
The 1984 Florida football team came out on the field and the place went wild. That Gator team experienced the wrath of the NCAA 40 years ago and the fans have not forgotten. Despite winning the SEC with a perfect conference record, the championship was vacated after a vote by the SEC coaches.
But back to some observations during this game.
The crowd actually screams during opposing PAT attempts. OK, I guess I can understand that it if were a walk-off PAT.
But no.
Just your standard, run-of-the-mill PAT that somehow is a pivotal moment in the game. Like every PAT in the SEC, I was informed by a fan.
Well, alrighty then.
Clearly SEC fan knows the secret sauce to enjoying a game. First, drink alcohol.
Actually, if you only do this you are still on point.
Learn all the team chants and responses. If you cannot remember them, just pretend you’re in church. Southern football is a religion here.
Yell. A lot.
For any reason. At any given moment. Nobody cares.
I finally comprehend fully the concept of home field advantage in the SEC. It has to be worth at least three points. My ears are hurting by the half. Maybe it is worth five points.
Meanwhile….
“Go Gators!” (musical interlude) “Go Gators!” (musical interlude) “Go Gators, come on, Gators… get up and go!”
I cannot get that chant out of my head. I actually started mouthing the chant’s lyrics in the second half. (Shhhh! No cheering in the press box allowed) Whoops.
What has become of me?
A West Coast football girl gets her head turned by Florida football?
Why… yes.
Yes. She. Does.
Florida football is sexy. Florida football is exciting. Florida fans are the best fans. And, ahem, sorry West Coast fans… SEC girls just mean more.
Daisy Duke shorts, tank tops and cowboy boots are tough to beat. Am I right, guys?
For decades I preached how overrated the SEC experience was. I laughed at the SEC’s “It just means more” motto. I excused poor stadium attendance in California due to poor scheduling or “too much to do in SoCal.”
I was wrong. Mea culpa. Forgive me, Gator Nation.
Honestly, if Florida scheduled a midnight game in The Igloo, it would sell out. Meanwhile, the Pac-12 cannot even sell out a 2023 conference championship game in Vegas, baby. (Note—it was technically played in Paradise, Nevada, not Las Vegas and it was several thousand butts-in-seats short of a true sell out. But you get the drift, right?)
Every tradition the Gator program has makes you want to don blue and orange. My favorite? Beside the “Go Gators” chant?
Singing Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down” while shining a cell phone’s flashlight in the darkened Igloo. So, so cool.
I respect all of the fans who stand up, remove their hats and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. America needs more of this.
As the fourth quarter was midway, I was struck by something.
I never once heard, “let’s leave now so we can beat the traffic.” In fact, traffic seems to get these fans lit. The more traffic, the more partying, the more tailgating and the more chomp chomping.
The SEC is just so much fun. Full of tradition. Good eats. Great football fans.
Florida may only be 4-3, but its future looks very bright. Freshman quarterback DJ Lagway is the real deal. He is a generational quarterback with tremendous skill set and athleticism.
He will be on my Heisman contender list next season.
Cali girl wants more SEC football.
Cali girl is falling in love with Gator Nation.
It just means more.
